Throughout her years in the UK, the human egoplasm of DK981 met some interesting people. One of them was Alex. who encouraged her writing sessions as part of her cognitive behavioural therapy. Anna and Alex sat next to one another. Anna spoke first: 'so, when will you visit me in Liverpool, silly Yorkshire star?' Alex nodded: ‘I agree. I do need to visit you and I am, indeed, a star. I am going to give you a tip for teaching, though...give your students a table for doing past questions. One is blank, the other filled in, to show them how. Once you finish the syllabus, you could just do a past question or two per lesson using this table’.
Anna smiled and thanked him. ‘I like you because you're an arrogant bitch. I'm the same...’.
Alex let out a loud laugh and he added: ‘My arrogance masks my insecurity and borderline personality disorder. Now tell me, dear Anna, why do all you Mediterraneans need bailing out?’ Anna laughed back. ‘Shhhhh.... you talk too much. Shabana says hello and she misses you. How's tricks up these days, mister?’
Alex let out a loud laugh and he added: ‘My arrogance masks my insecurity and borderline personality disorder. Now tell me, dear Anna, why do all you Mediterraneans need bailing out?’ Anna laughed back. ‘Shhhhh.... you talk too much. Shabana says hello and she misses you. How's tricks up these days, mister?’
Alex became suddently serious ‘Tell Shabana I miss her too. Tell them all in fact. Tell them I mean it, too, because now I teach old German secretaries how to answer the phone, rather than beautiful young things about the Holocaust. I now live in Germany. I'm coming back in June though. Guess what I'm starting September? A psychology degree in York. A second undergrad degree. Probably an insane decision. My parents are horrified. But what the hell. I believe in spreading myself wide academically rather than tunelling deep. It's easier to impress people at cocktail parties that way. How about you? How are the brats? How's academia?’ Anna looked at the tips of her shoes. ‘I am a-ok- I think your choice is good! Academia is shite as always, full of sleazy old people... but beautiful young things, as you said, fill me with joy. I am becoming aware of my powers these days, writing a lot and doing lots of introspection. I believe you should give your studies a cognitive science direction. Would you give a couple of psychoanalysis sessions in June?'
Alex replied: ‘When I come back, we will meet, I will minister to you like a psychotherapist. I don't believe in psychoanalysis though, I believe in Cognitive Behavioural therapy. Tell me the fruits of your introspection, tell me what your powers are and what you write about. I also miss you and some of your colleagues.’ Anna smiled and turned slightly red. ‘Oh Alex. Same here. Lots of things: driving to work now like a maniac...working on a paper on faith and atheism in antiquity and writing and editing my novel. Missing you lots and lots, there is no fun in the office without you! Khadidja's marriage got cancelled - the groom is getting married to his rich cousin or something like that. Her family is upset and so is she but we're all supportive. David and Lauren are OK. Shabana and Bekkah were sitting in the corridor next to my room today, I showed them your email, they giggled, a bit... you know, teens... I am slightly jealous of the German ladies, they get to see more of you than all of us! How are you spending your weekend?' Alex looked at Anna deep in her eyes. ‘Tell me what your novel is about, Anna... Tell me of your forays into academia. Where are you living these days? What are your plans? Never allow them to get you out of York College... I wish I'd stayed forever. Although, that's sad for Khadidja - she seemed exceedingly excited about it...I am spending my weekend watching international football matches. I am becoming more and more sympathetic to Germany than my country of birth. I am also reading Louis Ferdinand Celine's Journey to the End of the Night. Have you heard of him? It is unceasingly cynical, misanthropic and sarcastic - every single character is egotistical, self-serving and deluded. It's compelling reading. He went slightly mad during World War II though and started writing paranoid anti-Semitic pamphlets. As for me, I cannot decide how to orientate myself toward life, Anna. Much of the time, I feel tremendous contempt toward more or less everyone and everything, and it feels so very easy to play the role of sarcastic, vitriolic misanthrope; I've pattented it over the years, it comes naturally to me, and it's kind of fun. And yet, I am dimly aware that this world hating gobshite in my head may not perceive reality entirely accurately, that people are only self-serving pricks some of the time, that I should endeavour to slow down, to look at all the evidence, to draw more rational conclusions about the world and the people around me... And yet the world hating gobshite in my head seems to be the source of much of my talent and humour. It's a double bind and I'm terribly, terribly confused. As for the German ladies don't seem to want to know me. I am coming home for my friend's wedding in 2 weeks; let's do lunch.’
Alex replied: ‘When I come back, we will meet, I will minister to you like a psychotherapist. I don't believe in psychoanalysis though, I believe in Cognitive Behavioural therapy. Tell me the fruits of your introspection, tell me what your powers are and what you write about. I also miss you and some of your colleagues.’ Anna smiled and turned slightly red. ‘Oh Alex. Same here. Lots of things: driving to work now like a maniac...working on a paper on faith and atheism in antiquity and writing and editing my novel. Missing you lots and lots, there is no fun in the office without you! Khadidja's marriage got cancelled - the groom is getting married to his rich cousin or something like that. Her family is upset and so is she but we're all supportive. David and Lauren are OK. Shabana and Bekkah were sitting in the corridor next to my room today, I showed them your email, they giggled, a bit... you know, teens... I am slightly jealous of the German ladies, they get to see more of you than all of us! How are you spending your weekend?' Alex looked at Anna deep in her eyes. ‘Tell me what your novel is about, Anna... Tell me of your forays into academia. Where are you living these days? What are your plans? Never allow them to get you out of York College... I wish I'd stayed forever. Although, that's sad for Khadidja - she seemed exceedingly excited about it...I am spending my weekend watching international football matches. I am becoming more and more sympathetic to Germany than my country of birth. I am also reading Louis Ferdinand Celine's Journey to the End of the Night. Have you heard of him? It is unceasingly cynical, misanthropic and sarcastic - every single character is egotistical, self-serving and deluded. It's compelling reading. He went slightly mad during World War II though and started writing paranoid anti-Semitic pamphlets. As for me, I cannot decide how to orientate myself toward life, Anna. Much of the time, I feel tremendous contempt toward more or less everyone and everything, and it feels so very easy to play the role of sarcastic, vitriolic misanthrope; I've pattented it over the years, it comes naturally to me, and it's kind of fun. And yet, I am dimly aware that this world hating gobshite in my head may not perceive reality entirely accurately, that people are only self-serving pricks some of the time, that I should endeavour to slow down, to look at all the evidence, to draw more rational conclusions about the world and the people around me... And yet the world hating gobshite in my head seems to be the source of much of my talent and humour. It's a double bind and I'm terribly, terribly confused. As for the German ladies don't seem to want to know me. I am coming home for my friend's wedding in 2 weeks; let's do lunch.’
Anna replied swiftly: ‘Go to Japan, like you always wanted. I'll come find you there. Don't be scared of the unknown. Everything is self-taught on this planet. People dealt with tsunamis and earthquakes for centuries. I'm a survivor of the 1999 Athenian Earthquake. It is in the Gods' hands, we're just pieces of the chess. But that's just me- I reserved the Queen's post first!’ It was Alex's turn to look down at the tips of her shoes: 'I'm afraid I bottled Japan, Anna, after learning that plutonium has been found in the seawater. Humanity might struggle to learn to deal with that particular problem... at least before May 1st. On the plus side, though, it means I'll probably be in England this summer, teaching English in Lancaster. When we meet, I will rave to you at length about my obsessional dilemma; whether I should be an academic or a psychotherapist. It keeps me awake at night. Actually, being obsessional in general is probably the problem I should be trying to solve. Is the second email a part of your novel? I cannot judge the quality of the actual plot because this is only a short extract. But the quality and fluency of the writing are exceedingly impressive. It has a flowing and easy quality to it that, in my opinion, the majority of native speakers would be unable to capture. I showed it to a friend of mine who did not believe me when I explained to him that English is not your first language. Would you say the lyrical style of fiction suits you better than terseness of academic writing? [not implying that fiction can't be cold and terse, of course, like Hemingway or something]...You made an appearance in my dream last night, we were in a country house somewhere. The rest is a blur.’
Anna smiled. 'Look. I really have to go now. My students are waiting. Let's meet again when you are back'. They hugged each other tightly, and she swiftly took the fast path back to the college. She looked around. Blackburn was a goth town. A dark tall Cathedral in the centre with a catacomb that send chills down her spine and an elaborate arabesque Mosque in the Muslim Quarter. 'Will I settle here in England', she thought. She did not know. what would happen in the future, she was a little afraid and a little excited about the application in Sweden. '2009 and 2010 have been bad, let's hope 2011 will bring some joy'. A few weeks after, Alex and Anna indeed meet. He started analysing his theory on cognitive behavioural therapy. She spent some time quoting Edgard Allan Poe with him. They smoked a few spliffs and then Alex said: ‘I think we should wrestle’. And they wrestled in the mud until he got her down to the damp ground. And she was laughing in a bit of panic and despair because her lovely cardigan was wet and she couldn’t figure out if he wanted to strangle her or kiss her. It didn’t work. He mocked her girly sighs and she tried to turn him around in order to push him down to the ground; when he let go she stood against him and hugged him tightly. He stroked her hair with his hand and then held her chin between his hands as if he was to kiss her. And they stood there until the sun has come again and old pensioners with their dogs were on their way to the carpark. He asked her to come and find him in Berlin. She spoke to him about her frequent sleep paralysis during her marriage and the completion of her PhD. He told her she is probably a little ill: pyromaniac, bed wetting obsessional bipolar was his diagnosis. Or something like that. ‘Exactly like our Furher’ he added and smiled. They spoke about her novel a lot. He inspired her with a couple of memoir titles he thought of: The Dreaming Demons and A Succubus on her Chest. On his way out she gave him the chocolate from Greece. He smiled and blowed a kiss into the wind. He was a confident British-German, 'but a little too much fascinated by Reinhard Heidrich' she thought.
The day after, Anna went to the Pleasure Beach Park in Blackpool with Kieron. The Pleasure Theme Park was built initially in the 1930’s and it was Kieron’s favourite place since he was a kid. The first thing that attracted her attention was the big Casino. She just knew it was 1930s Art Deco. The rides were terrifying and she felt her heart stop a couple of times, but she managed. She took Kieron for a walk at the beach. She kissed him on his cheek he was least expecting it. She simply splashed out on her pinball smile and said 'thank you for making me feel safe in this madness. It was a hard year and it would be even worse if I haven't met you already'. The good man smiled. They finished an excellent evening with traditional fish and chips. This is my England, she thought. 'The North. The honest, the courteous, the misanthropic'.
The day after, Anna went to the Pleasure Beach Park in Blackpool with Kieron. The Pleasure Theme Park was built initially in the 1930’s and it was Kieron’s favourite place since he was a kid. The first thing that attracted her attention was the big Casino. She just knew it was 1930s Art Deco. The rides were terrifying and she felt her heart stop a couple of times, but she managed. She took Kieron for a walk at the beach. She kissed him on his cheek he was least expecting it. She simply splashed out on her pinball smile and said 'thank you for making me feel safe in this madness. It was a hard year and it would be even worse if I haven't met you already'. The good man smiled. They finished an excellent evening with traditional fish and chips. This is my England, she thought. 'The North. The honest, the courteous, the misanthropic'.
No comments:
Post a Comment